ever entered a room and immediately somebody caught your attention??? and then found out that she's gonna be in the same group as u??? but then the moment your friend sees her he goes "this gurl nice to see only, cannot go after wan... not for any of us"...

you see... love at 1st sight somehow or rather might involve both parties.. I dunno... sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't. but when you set eyes on a person the moment you saw her... then you know that maybe you have fallen into it.. And sometimes, thats only even at 1st glance... and then later on when you talk to her you realise that conversations do come easily too... that means that you can communicate with her as well... I have never been a person to believe in all this, until february 23rd.... but again... Is this love at 1st sight, or stupidity in an instance

you see... we seem 2 share alot in common... and the instant i met her.. i somehow just wanted to know more abt her... get to know her better and make friends with her... basically, our friendship kinda grew very fast, and before 1 week was up, we were kinda exchanging secrets. offered to accompany each other and all... comforting each other in times of probs and stuff lidat..... went out wif her d whole day on sat...

i dunno y.,. but its been a very long time since i had so much fun, ever did anything crazy spontaneously and all... last sat, we both skipped telematch... i fetched her at 10am from imu, went midvalley, had breakfast, watched a movie, haha.. 1st time had ice cream in baskin robbins, and know what, i was damn messy... then went ard looking at digicam and webcam... then came back to imu tried searching for my bag but failed... then we didn't know what to do, on impulse, i told her we take an lrt to bukit bintang... so we did... then walked ard bukit bintang... went sungei wang... just walked ard and all la... haha.. n getting lost.. thats the whole fun abt it... then we came back only to find that nobody's going for bbq night, and the whole orientation group was in klcc... we decided not to join them... so we went for an aimless drive, just driving ard kl.... since she likes to see lightings, i decided to just drive ard the city... talked crap and all.. then headed to subang windmill for dinner... went back imu, nobody's back yet, so we drove to the top of a hill and just sat by the edge looking at the cars passing by... haha... finally everyone came back.. went up to get my stuff and drove her home.. abt 2am in d morning....

d next day, d juniors had a gathering for us to thank us for helping them, d so called fascilitators i mean, n my friends, d other seniors pulled me aside... they disagreed with me hanging out too much with her... some said i neglected my studies, some said i neglected my friends... but i admit i did... its true... but the next part probably hurts... they just told me that she was using me... and just making use of me as a source of entertainment when she has nothing to do... ouch!!! that hurt... they deduced that if another guy gives her enough attention she'll probably even forget alvin lum existed... coz she only needed attention... it hurts... after a long lecture on that, about how i'm wasting my time... the key word was that they have reservations... they kept on pushing that nothing's gonna work out coz of the look she has... and that i'm being too innocent... it hurts... but what hit me the the hardest was "you will never be good enough for her no matter how you try... if some good looking guy comes along with some sweet words, she will not even talk to you anymore"

you see... the take home message basically hit me hard... its true... i basically have nothing... no looks, no built, no cash... all i have to give is my love, my care, my heart, my words, my sincerity and well, just all me... i don't know sweet words to flirt or sweet talk, i don't have huge sums of money to throw, i don't have a brat pitt appearance.... the truth is tough to accept but well i guess the song "god must have spent a little more time on you explains that"... not that i'm complaining.... but i trust her.... n when jessie asked me today, what if she actually made use of you and dissapears when some sweet talking brad pitt who drives a mercedes comes along, would i have minded??? the truth, i'll give all i can give to the person i like... if that's not enough, i'm sorry... i tried my best... n no... i will not get mad... i'll not hate her, lts just say i might end up not minding it... but yes.. it will hurt... the truth is that i do trust her... n i guess i shall continue to...

at the end of the day.. whether or not this relationship works out.. thats a question that time can answer... but 1 thing i know for sure... friendship does not need working out or a proposal.. it just happens... and well.. i guess it has.. i'm never a person that likes to make a fuss of all this issues... but somehow... i like to believe that somehow, somewhere along the line, i have hope.... and maybe.. hopefully, i wun get hurt again.... but yet again.... doesn't getting hurt make you a better person???? at least you learn to fall for the right person at least.. haha...

anway... thats basically what happened in 1 week...

i'm just a simple man
sitting with you,
looking at you
with words as my only gift

I'm just a simple man,
with no stuff to strut,
with no words of magic,
just my confidence to yonder

I'm just a simple man,
wanting to hold you tight,
wanting to hold you close,
just to say I care

I'm just a simple man,
That risks my only penny,
that gives my only dollar,
tou know you are fine

I'm just a simple man,
with no pots of gold,
with no chest of silver,
only my heart, coated in bronze

I'm just a simple man,
bearing no wonderful gifts,
showing no wonderful voices,
just my love i give true

I'm just a simple man,
hoping none of you,
wishing none of you,
but your smile and laughter

I'm just a simple man,
with no elaborate feast prepared,
but my words over dinner,
to ease you when in pain

Im just a simple man,
with nothing to give,
with nothing to show,
accept my all

haha... wrote this while' i'm really sleepy... anyway... to me, the most important thing is actually feelings in a relationship... no matter what others say or think... you yourself play the most important role... n only you can decide if you wanna be with that person and if you can rfeally trust that person... no decision is right or wrong... only the decision that you should make...